why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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