Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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