i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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