hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
