I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
