I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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