i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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