well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
