Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
