i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
