She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
