Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
