We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
