I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
