textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
