the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I forget how to act sober
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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