my vag is so smooth its legendary
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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