I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
