I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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