Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
