Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
