Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
