So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
