It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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