Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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