Banned from zoo.
Again?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
