wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
