this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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