so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
