its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
should my penis look like a turkey
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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