So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
