He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
