no, he came in my armpit
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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