yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
