do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
