Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
