I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
please come you make the beer taste better
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
