i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
