There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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