omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
