I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Randomize
