But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
