The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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