I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
