I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
