she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you didnt know i had herpes?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
