Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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