Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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