she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
