dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
