She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
