is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
