he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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