it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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