he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
