I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
